grace

This was too good not to post somewhere, so I will put it here. Totally lifted it from a bottle of shower gel, but I think you will enjoy!

"life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: grace. grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners, reverence, and the list goes on. it's something money can't buy and credentials rarely produce. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest, or even the poorest, can't help. being a humble person can and beind a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude."
amazing grace

communication: expectations, assumptions, & fears

Communication is a difficult thing for most people and it gets very complicated once any type of emotion is involved. I believe expectations have the ability to start the process of miscommunication. It seems ridiculous to think of communicating with family, friends, and significant others in a business sort of format, but maybe this would level the communication playing field, so to speak. If the communication begins with the expectations of the persons involved in the communication, it may help to set the tone of the conversation. Stating the intentions or goals of the communicators involved could keep things on track without them getting too personal.
However, with assumptions being made, the conversation will invariably go wrong. When one person assumes they think or know what the other is thinking or means, without questioning their intentions, communication can get all screwy, leading to mass miscommunication and often times hurt feelings. It is definitely easier to write and understand the process of communicating, but implementation is another process all together. Which brings us to the fear part of communicating.
Fear keeps us from implementing an effective communicating process particularly when the emotions get involved. Emotions can wreak havoc on the best laid plan of communication and also lead to saying things that cannot be taken back...either good or bad. I believe it is important to try to stick to the expectations of the conversation in order to minimize the effects of emotinoal sidetracking. If this means a pause in the commnication in order for the emotions to subside before communication can continue, so be it.

"Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you." Anonymous

Heard an interesting analogy this morning to describe the pattern of going from one relationship to another, without stopping in between...the monkey bars. This is the practice of holding on to one relationship while starting another, only letting go of the old one after the new one has begun. It is a perfect pictorial to describe the fears of a codependent person. The fear of being alone or totally by oneself never happens because they are connected to someone else emotionally, physically or possibly even both. It makes it safe for the person holding on to two relationships because they never have to experience the fears and deal with the emotions of being alone. Unfortunately, this practice is equally damaging as well. It keeps the person stuck in a pattern of behaviors that does not allow them to deal with the real issues. These issues are likely the fear of being totally alone and the lack of ability to feel at total peace with oneself. There are many reasons these fears may exist and can be as varied as flavors of ice cream from one person to another, but all valid fears none the less because of each person's individual experiences. The question then would be...are you afraid of letting go? Would you like to become aware of your life or continue down the same path, making the same mistakes? It is your choice. Good luck with your decision, but don't be afraid.
"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret from the past and fear of the future." Fulton Oursler

थे मोंकेय Bars

courage to change

Honesty and courage go hand in hand. Many mistakes are made in life...they are there to help us learn. It is what we do with these mistakes is what makes the difference. Once mistakes are realized, it is important to be honest about them and come clean. If an apology is warranted, make it. The guilt that is carried around by the mistake or pain caused to another is counter-productive and leads to more guilt and reluctance to change. Have faith that no matter how the apology is received, you have done your part in at least acknowledging the mistake. But don't stop there. What you do with that knowledge is what can lead to permanent change. This change takes courage. Not all interactions in life go well. But being willing to make good on those mistakes or apologize for the pain caused, is a step in the right direction. Feeling guilty about something or having difficulty sleeping at night? Give it a try, come clean. It is easy to suppress feelings and hope that issues will go away if it is just ignored. But often times it is like a snowball silently rolling down a slope...it grows. It will get so big that eventually it will require attention, maybe when you least expect it or in ways that you never considered. We all have a reluctance to change, because it is sometimes uncomfortable or painful, but making the same mistakes over and over again with the same results is called...insanity. Good luck on the changes you choose to make in your life...and be brave.
“You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity.” ...

you guessed it...bullshit

This is what it's all about...bullshit. Have been doing some thinking about this last week and some events in my life. Two events in particular come to mind...both involving men, both regarding apologies. Now Susan will not be surprised by this topic and I'm just guessing that if you are a woman with any involvement with someone of the opposite sex, this may sound familiar to you as well. A general observation about men that has proved true...men are incapable of being honest with themselves and therefore incapable of being honest with any one else, especially a woman. Well that's some bullshit! There are some women who only want to hear what they believe to be truth to spare hurt feelings. But most women want to hear the truth no matter what. It is easier to show some integrity and tell the truth from the beginning than to apologize later for your unacceptable behavior. Typically the apologies only come after a confrontation of this unacceptable behavior. Again, Bullshit! I encourage women to continue to confront these behaviors in order to bring them to an end. Stay strong my sisters! :)
"Peace if possible...truth at all costs." Martin Luther King, Jr.

Testes, testes, that's right...testes.

This is just a test of your local bs blogging system.